Liberty Home School Graduation Class of 2012

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  -Philippians 3:13-14

I used to think that this day would never come.  As a little girl I couldn't wait to grow up, be done with school, and finally become an adult as I had always wished to be.  I used to think that meant being able to do whatever I wanted to do, but the older I became, the more I realized this was the furthest thing from the truth.  And now, as I enter graduation, I realize it even more so.  True maturity is not just in age, but in behavior, and that is a hard lesson I am still learning.

It's almost a scary thought of never getting back a special period of life.  Eighteen years of my life have now been lived.  I have gone through much laughter and tears, sorrow and bliss, heartache and happiness, pain and pleasure, grief and joy, discontentment and ease, anger and peace, strife and harmony, and I can say without remorse, it has all been worth it.  I have had my own fair share of being an unthankful and rebellious daughter; I have experienced more than enough of doubting faith; I have lacked in many areas that I should have been triumphing in; I have wallowed in the mire of self-pity—yet God has never failed me nor left me to the evil devices of my sinful heart.

He has been good to me for eighteen years by giving me amazing parents that I don’t deserve, and seven wonderful siblings who have had to put up with me being the oldest.  Although we may not be the wealthiest family in material possessions, I believe I am the luckiest and richest girl to be alive.  I have love.  I have refuge.  I have protection.  I have friendship.  I have family.  I have salvation.  I have eighteen years to my credit.  I have an abundant life to look forward to.  I have joy.  I have unending love and forgiveness from my heavenly Father.  I have the life of a wife and mother to look forward to.  I have so many blessing to be thankful for!  As I look at the whole picture of life, it isn’t bleak; rather, life is bliss!

Twelve years is a long time.  During the middle of those twelve years I thought it was the longest period of my entire life.  I remember wanting to grow up more than anything else in the world.  Time ticked too slowly for my taste, although my parents prudently advised me that before I knew it I would be looking back wondering where the time went.  How right they were!  Now looking back I realize that I was in too much of a hurry.  My goal during school was just to get by so that I could be done.

Graduation was a mark of achievement in my mind of throwing away childhood and becoming an adult.  I also looked forward to never having to open a school book again (although I didn't realize that one day I would be teaching my own children, and thus, opening those once-dreaded school books).  I thought that once I was done with my twelve years of education, I would never have to worry about "school" again.  Now that my twelve years are up, I understand that all of life is learning.  We don't stop learning until the day we die.  Education doesn't stop with graduation, for I hope that I will continue to learn more and more the rest of my life.  Right now I feel like I still have so much to learn!

A phase of childhood is now passed.  I don't have the feeling I thought I would have.  I used to think that graduation would begin a new kind of "freedom" for me: freedom from rules, freedom from learning, freedom from long tedious hours hunched over a desk with a stubby pencil in my aching fingers while the clock still said two hours until torture was over, freedom from childhood, and freedom the restrictions of boredom.

Although it was subtle, those attitudes were really a form of feminist independence that I couldn't wait to exercise once I "grew up" and became able to do whatever I wanted to do.  But now, I actually feel like I am saying goodbye to a dear friend I will never see again, for I will never have those twelve years back.  Maybe my thoughts have changed towards my now-past school days.  What used to be an enemy has become a memory that I will hold forever—that of learning at home with my siblings under the careful wisdom and tutelage of my parents.

With this apprehension of melancholy sadness and sobriety comes excitement.  This day that I have looked forward to for so long has finally arrived!  I don't feel very worthy or proud in one respect.  There were times I hated doing school, as I'm sure every child feels at some point.     There were many days that I didn't care if I learned anything or not, for, quite frankly, there were times I was rebellious and didn't want to learn anything.

There were days when the work was harder than usual and I wanted to quit.  Then there were days when I was so lazy I just didn't want to do the simplest things.  Nevertheless, although there are things I regret, especially not making the most of my time and trying to learn all I could, I am very thankful for the time God gave me to learn, and the little bit of knowledge I have acquired in these twelve years.

I could not have succeeded if it had not been Christ who strengthened me (Phil. 4:13), and my parents who urged me on.  I can say, like Robert E. Lee, George Washington, Charles Spurgeon, and many others have said in the past, that I owe everything to the wisdom, guidance, and teaching of my parents.  Most young people do not realize until they grow older how much influence their parents really have on them, and how much they owe everything to the love and care of the ones who raised them.  I want to carry on the legacy that my parents have tried to instill in me, so that not only will they be proud of me, but so that my children and other future generations will be taught the same things my parents have taught, and continue to teach me.

I am thankful for the direction they have led me in.  Without their guidance I would be wandering and lost right now, with no direction, no futuristic goals, no dreams to live out, and certainly no purpose for my life.  Everything I am and ever even dare to hope to be can only be credited to my parents, who have always been faithful, even when I wasn't faithful to them.

3 John 4 says that, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth."  I want to be a cornerstone, polished after the similitude of a palace (Psalm 144:12).  I don't want to be an example of what a child should not be; instead, I want to make my parents proud.

This is not just an ending, but a very bright beginning.  My school days have ended, but so much life is still awaiting me.  All I have to do is live it out.  First and foremost my goal is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever in everything I do, as 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

One cannot have a wonderful, fulfilling life outside of Jesus Christ.  Without Him no one can be anyone.  A life without Christ is fleeting, unfulfilling, and completely worthless.  Christ is the only thing, but everything to live for!  Without Him there is no direction, no purpose, no goal, and no meaning to life.  My hope is to live a long, happy, and productive life, as I'm sure every human being hopes for, and that can only be accomplished in Jesus Christ who is sovereign over all of life.

Secondly, as a new beginning looms in front of me, my futuristic goal is to become a wife and mother, as God has ordained for women.  I don't see a homemaker's life as drudgery or a slave in chains under patriarchal tyranny.  Instead I understand that true biblical womanhood is a woman's greatest calling.  A woman is not just a wife and mother, but an entrepreneur, a helpmeet, a giver of progeny to be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth, and so much more!  She is most successful in any work in her own God-ordained territory: the home.

What I have learned in these past twelve years will be the foundation for the rest of my life, as well as putting it into practice, not only in what I do, but when I begin to teach my own children in later years.  The principles and life lessons I have learned were designed to continue to teach me and lead me in the direction I am heading.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  -Proverbs 22:6

This is a big step I am taking, of one ending and another beginning, and it is my prayer that I do not fail in the tasks God has given me.  Presently my goal is to serve God in whatever capacity He leads me, whether it is the seemingly mundane chore of daily life, a trial I am tested with, or a brand new adventure that I have always dreamed of.  My prayer is that I always remain faithful to the calling therewith I have been called, as I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, as He leads me throughout life.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him; and He shall direct thy paths."  -Proverbs 3:5-6

As the old words ring true:
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

The Life of a Slanderer

"It is one thing to lie to others.  It is still another matter to lie about others.  This involves slander.  To tell lies about other people is to cause them grave injury.  The Devil himself is the master of slander.  He encourages his disciples to engage in gossip, backbiting, and slander.  To steal a person's good name may be more harmful to the person than to steal their property.

"God is so concerned about slander and lying about others that He included a prohibition against it in His Ten Commandments: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor' (Exodus 20:16).

"The prohibition includes more than falsely accusing someone in a law court.  The responsibility in Israel to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in a law court was taken very seriously.  If perjury was committed in the courts, the penalties ranged all the way to the death penalty.

"Justice cannot be maintained in the land unless the courts can be certain of the honesty of witnesses.  But on a more daily basis, injurious lies can take the form of slander.  Let us consider briefly the meaning and force of the verb 'to slander.'  To slander someone is to tell lies about him, lies the injure him.  Slander involves making an unjust accusation.  We have all felt the sting of being slandered.  It is one thing to suffer injury for sins of which we are guilty.  It is another thing to be punished for something we did not do.  No one enjoys the pain of false accusation.

"I labor the point of slander's being an injurious lie because it is one of the chief works of the Devil against God's people.  To slander a person is to injure that person's reputation.  Our reputations, our 'good names,' are important to our lives.  Life is difficult enough without trying to operate with an evil reputation."1

"Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile." -Psalm 34:13

"He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool." -Proverbs 10:18

Slander is an ugly word.  Slander.  What do we think of when we hear the word?  Insult.  Smear.  Character assassination.  A once good name thrown in the mud.  Hatred.  Lies.  Cruelty.  Pride and jealousy.  Resentment.  Disgrace.  Tarnish.  Slander.

Slander is much like the cruelty seen in the classrooms of public-schooled kids.  Snooty high school girls picking on the one lonely outcast because of jealousy.  Rumors of character-slight.  Lies spread so that someone else looks bad and is discredited from teenage society [i.e. pride: a promotion of self].  From kindergarten to high school, kids sure know how to slander.  Another word is backbite.  Slander is much like grabbing a knife and stabbing someone in the back.  Most times slander will hurt much more than a protruding knife will.  Words have force.  Words have power.  And if used for evil, words cause wounds much deeper than a blade can go.

But it isn't just public-schooled kids who know how to be cruel.  Think about it.  Pride is a sin in everyone's life, and because pride only wants the promotion of self—for self to look better than everyone else—it is only a logical follow-up that the cruel words of slander and degradation will pursue.  Not just the world and its people, but Christians as well, our own friends and families even!  The life of a sibling is constantly filled with jealous lies about a sister and hateful, stinging words of degradation to a brother.  The same is said of life amongst friends. In an instant someone whom you thought loved and trusted you turns into a conniving, slanderous, roaring lion, seeking to devour.


"Lie not to one another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of Him that created him." -Colossians 3:9-10

Lying creates a vast majority of tension and even hatred between people.  The guilty party who does the slandering, miserable are they!   "That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified" (1 Thessalonians 4:6).  As for the innocent to whom the slander is against, "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.  For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?  And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?  Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matthew 5:43-48).

For those of us who have had to deal with friends or family creating rumors behind our backs, loving that person is a hard thing to do. Sometimes it seems impossible even.  Why would they do such a thing when they were once a good friend?  Why would they pretend to love us, and in the next instant stab us in the back?  These are difficult questions to answer.  Perhaps some kind of jealousy and resentment on their part.  Maybe they were never really the person we thought them to be in the first place.

It still hurts.

"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." -Ephesians 4:31-32

Forgive them?

Why should they be forgiven when they have spread lies about me, hurt me, caused strife between us, ruined friendships, created division, and slandered my once good name?  They don't deserve my forgiveness!

"Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.  For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.  For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil." -1 Peter 3:8-12

As we have seen many times, the tongue can be the unruliest member of our body (James 3:6-18).  First of all the sin of envy, jealousy, or hatred causes unrest in the heart, which then proceeds in slander, lies, and evil words from our fire-of-a-tongue.  There is no other cause for this, except pride and self-love.  Self-love is angered when we think another person looks better than us in front of other people.  Pride is miffed when someone else is better than we are.  Therefore, the tongue begins to wag, degradation causes catastrophe, and before we know it, the situation is out of hand and people are hurt because of our slander.  Our pride and self-love can't stand for someone else to be in the limelight.  "I can do better than that!"  Self says.  "I am better than that!"

Unfortunately our personal pride is strong.  Pride is happily uplifted when someone else is degraded.  We think that it makes us look good when we make others look bad.  However, we don't realize that no one likes a slanderer.  No one lasts long in a friendship with slander.  A true friend is one "that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbor, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbor" (-Psalm 15:3).  A true friend dies to self, and that means he will not care whether another person looks better than him in front of others or not.  It is only those with evil intentions of heart who will spread the rumors, start the gossip, and create the lies.  A mean word is like a cruel slap in the face.  It stings, it burns, it causes embarrassment, but the one who looks the fool is the one who did the slapping.

The Lord abhors the lies of a slanderer.  "Whoso privily slandereth his neighbor, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer" (Psalm 101:5).  Instead, He demands a loving heart.  "To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing meekness unto all men" (-Titus 3:2).

The effects of slander are very dangerous.  Therefore it is our duty to beware of the trap we all so easily fall into.  Whether it is a look, a glance, a whisper, a cutting remark, it is to be removed far from us.  Slander creates more problems than we know what to do with.  Slander is the treacherous enemy of friends and family alike.  It separates the very best of friends and the closest brothers and sisters, if it is loosed.  Slander destroys, whereas love creates.  While slander is forgivable, first of all it must be repented of.  Our tongues must be guarded by the Word of God, and the sins of envy, jealousy, pride, and self-love—which causes slander—must be isolated from our heart.  No good thing comes from the maliciousness of slander.  It is a life of wounds and friction.  And it is not a life worth living.

"A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends." -Proverbs 16:28

"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverbs 18:8

"Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer the strife ceaseth." -Proverbs 26:20

"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverbs 26:22 (Repeated from Proverbs 18:8)





Footnote 1.  R.C. Sproul, Pleasing God: Overcome the obstacles that keep you from honoring God, pg. 196-197, 199; Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, Illinois, 1988.

Zero Tolerance

"For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry." -1 Samuel 15:25a


Rebellion is nothing new to mankind.  God has had to deal with man's rebellion ever since Adam and Eve's sin in the garden of Eden, the Israelites in the wilderness, up to 21st century Christians of today.  It is a never-ending story, for there is nothing new under the sun (Eccl. 1:9).  For this cause, every parent has had to deal with the same willful clash of subordinate despising authority: the stubborn, defiant child resisting the parents' authority (i.e. submission crisis).


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Farewell, Sweet School Days of Mine

I never thought I would actually be saying that.

I remember when I used to think about graduating and being done with my school days forever.  I longed for this day incredibly so, because I couldn't wait to "grow up" and finally be done with school.   I didn’t care what happened next, just as long as I finished in a hurry.

However, now that the day has come, I can’t help but look over the past twelve years and wish I had taken more advantage of being a schoolgirl.  I had wanted to grow up too fast.  And now that I have hit the "adult years," I can't help feeling a little mournful that those days are gone.  For good.

It's almost a scary thought of never getting back a special period of life.  Eighteen years of my life have now been lived.  I have gone through much laughter and tears, sorrow and bliss, heartache and happiness, pain and pleasure, grief and joy, discontentment and ease, anger and peace, strife and harmony, and I can say without remorse, it has all been worth it.  I have had my own fair share of being an unthankful and rebellious daughter; I have experienced more than enough of doubting faith; I have lacked in many areas that I should have been triumphing in; I have wallowed in the mire of self-pity—yet God has never failed me nor left me to the evil devices of my sinful heart.  He has been good to me for eighteen years by giving me wise parents that I don’t deserve, and seven wonderful siblings who have had to put up with me being the oldest (oh yeah, you younger siblings know what that means!).  Though we may not be the wealthiest family in material possessions, I believe I am the luckiest and richest girl to be alive.  I have love.  I have refuge.  I have protection.  I have friendship.  I have family.  I have salvation.  I have eighteen years to my credit.  I have an abundant life to look forward to.  I have joy.  I have unending love and forgiveness from my heavenly Father.  I have the life of a wife and mother to look forward to.  I have so many blessing to be thankful for!  Life isn’t bleak; life is bliss!

Look out world, here I come!  

I must admit, I am definitely not the most qualified to be growing up.  I still have so much to learn!  Just because I am graduating from my schoolgirl days does not mean I am fully prepared for anything that may come my way.  I will never stop learning on this journey of life, but that is the rewarding aspect of life!

The years have passed frightfully fast.  I used to think as a little girl that I would never grow up.  Life just wasn’t fast enough in my estimation.  My parents were always saying that life is actually too fast and I would realize it the older I grew, but I never could believe them.  Until now.  Now I understand just how fast life can be.

Thankfully I still have so much life to live ahead of me.  My dreams are still the same, and I plan to live them out.  My desire is still to become a wife and mother, all in God’s good timing (as hard as that is to say right now).  As for now, I can dwell in the knowledge that God is doing what is best for me—much better than I can even imagine.  In my impatience I cannot see what lies ahead.  In my finite “wisdom” I think that now would be best, but apparently God thinks differently.  For now, I rest content that one phase of life is over; many more are yet to come!

Just think.  Life is exciting.  Exhilarating.  Fulfilling.  Breathtaking even.  And it is all mine.  A gift from God.  One set of happy golden years are over, but there are others yet to come.  Even now I am experiencing a wonderful life!  So, farewell, sweet school days of mine.  I shan’t be remorseful, or regret the past, but instead press on toward new horizons.  There are too many grandiose dreams to live out in life, and I don’t want to miss out on even the smallest one.  Life is too precious.  Life is too fleeting.  One day I will look back on these days and wonder where the time went.  Just as I do now.  Goodbye, Happy Golden Years of schoolgirl days; hello Happy Golden Years of a brand new adventure!

Those Happy Golden Years

I never thought the goodbye would be tearful
When I waved my school days away
As I said goodbye to my childhood
And reached for a brand new day

I never thought I would miss those days
Of being young and learning a lot
Of books and pencils and aching fingers
And appliance of what I was taught

I'll miss being that little girl
Sometimes eager and sometimes glum
The dreary days I hated school
Once again those days will never come

I used to look forward to this day
Of being grown-up and free
But my childish naivety was sublime
To urge me on to what I wanted to be

I have found as the years have passed
That my time of learning does not end
My departed school days mark a beginning
Of a new horizon just over the bend

My outlook is bright as I press on
Excitement wonders what God has in store
I can only guess and be faithful to Him
As I spread my wings and step out the door

Farewell, good ole school days
Yesteryear seems so far away
Those happy golden years of being a child
Will never leave my memory from this day

Of how I was taught by the wisest parents
And learned side-by-side with siblings so dear
But now I have grown and those days are gone
My heart aches as I shed a mournful tear

Farewell forever, my sweet schoolgirl days
I press on to the mark of God’s calling for me
I’ll still be learning what life has to hold
A new dawn approaching I can see

I’ll miss you to a small extent
But I’m eager to experience something new
God has a plan for my life I know
—The big and little things I do

The Eye-Catcher

 (True modesty and purity in action)

Adeline sighed and pressed her nose up against the glass of her upstairs bedroom window that overlooked the quiet streets of a small but picturesque, old-fashioned town.  It was the beginning of springtime in Texas, for the warm weather had already arrived and the wild flowers by the roadside had already been showing their faces for several weeks now.  Adeline's eyes watched teenagers from the local high school as they walked—some in groups, others in pairs—along the streets of her town.  School had just let out for the day, but Adeline was bored because she had finished her book work hours ago, being home-schooled, along with her chores.  Now there was nothing to do but take her usual place at the window seat and watch high-schoolers that she could only long to be friends with.

Adeline slowly raised the window, and a fresh breeze whirled her hair around her face.  Her eyes particularly watched the teenage girls.  They were so different from her, with their tight shorts that Adeline's parents had strictly forbidden, tank tops which exposed too much skin, and jeans that all-too-clearly displayed their small but curvaceous hips.  Adeline understood the importance of modesty, but she didn't know why the guys of her town always wanted to hang out with those girls.  Guys didn't give her a second glance as she walked by in her modest and feminine apparel.  She couldn’t help feeling maybe she didn’t have what it took to please a man.  She hated her insecurity, but it was always there, staring her right in the face.

Adeline's eyes followed a particular group of older teenaged girls—the bright and sumptuously beautiful girls—and the ones who wore the skimpiest clothing and most daring makeup. To Adeline, they looked great, with their toned and tan legs, even if their shorts were too short.  Why is it that guys only go after those sorts of girls?

Adeline sighed once again and turned back to her open Bible that lay on her bed.  She was envious.  She was coveting.  God, it's not fair!  Not fair?  Adeline could hardly believe she would say such a thing to God.  Tears began to rim her eyes.

Footsteps sounded on the staircase leading up to her room, and Adeline tried to dash away her tears as she turned to see her mother open her door.  Seeing tears on Adeline's face, her mother's warm smile turned into a worried expression.  She sat beside her on the bed and wrapped her arm around her.  "What's wrong with my Adeline?"

Adeline bit her lip.  She was afraid her mother wouldn't understand.  Who could?  Adeline couldn't understand herself most of the time.  She lowered her eyes in shame.  "Nothing," she whispered.

Adeline's mother cast a knowing look out the open window as loud, boisterous, girlish laughter sounded from outside. Living in town was not the best thing for a sixteen year old whose parents were trying to raise into a godly young woman, but their situation couldn't be helped.  She prodded her daughter again.  "C'mon, you don't just cry over nothing.  What's wrong?  I'm your mother and it is my job to help you.  So tell me what's wrong."

Short, jerky sentences finally came from Adeline's lips.  "It's just not...fair!"  She blurted out.  "Why are all the most beautiful girls the immodest, loose ones?  And what's worse, guys only seem to like those kinds of girls!  Every eye is drawn to them, but someone like me isn't even given a second glance.  Even the girls at church dress like that!  I want to be beautiful too!"  With this her sobs deepened.

Adeline's mother sighed long and heavily.  "Addy, how many times have I talked about this with you?  You are beautiful. Both your father and I have said so."

Adeline sniffed.  "Yeah, but you're my parents.  Of course I'm going to be beautiful to you. And besides, you would just say that to make me feel better."

Her mother raised an eyebrow.  "Then who do you want to be beautiful to?  Every man that looks at you?"

Adeline blushed.  "N-no, but I want to believe it.  I look at all those other girls and my confidence in myself is shaken.  I'm not beautiful compared to them.  They get to show off everything about themselves, while I have to hide beneath my frumpy old clothes.  I feel like I'm such a misfit."

"But you are beautiful. Your beauty comes from the inside out.  Remember, 'Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised' (Prov. 31:30).  A woman's heart is the most important factor in beauty, not what she looks like on the outside and what she wears.  In fact, the Bible implicitly requires modesty in a godly woman."

Adeline bowed her head.  "I know, Mama, but why do I still long to be viewed as beautiful on the outside too?"

"Every woman does," her mother answered.   “We want to be admired, pampered, glorified, adored, and worshipped, and for some reason, Hollywood has portrayed women as only being 'beautiful' if they look and dress a certain way.  But if we are women who truly seek to firstly, glorify God in everything we do, and second, to be a godly woman, we must not fall into the trap that the world sets for women.  Each woman has a separate and distinctive unique beauty, and you only want one man to love and cherish you for it, not every bozo that sees you on the street.  Who cares what those kind of men think!  They are just seeking instant satisfaction from those girls.  You only want one man to see your true beauty, and it is your job as a Christian young lady to keep that for him until you are married."

"Let me ask you something," her mother continued.  "When the Bible talks about the whorish woman, what do you think of her?  Do you envy her, or do you scorn the very thought of her?"

Adeline blinked.  "Well of course I would not envy her.  After all, she seductively leads men on to destruction."

Adeline's mother smiled knowingly.  "Ah, so why would you envy those girls that you just saw out your window?  How are they any different from the woman talked about in Proverbs?"

Adeline's mouth opened, though she didn't speak right away.  "How...I mean...it's different...isn't it?  I don't want to entice or seduce men like the bad woman in Proverbs.  Those girls aren't wicked or rotten."

"There really is no difference, Adeline.  The clothes that you envy other girls wearing?  It is seductive and enticing to men.  The freedom that you long for?  It will cause a man to lust, even causing him to act upon his lust if he is not controlled by the Word of God.  'Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?  Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?' (Prov. 6:27-28).  When it comes down to it, Adeline, there is a dark though perhaps hidden reason behind your envy and longing to be like other girls.  A woman feels such exhilarating freedom if she knows she can entice a man with her beauty, and particularly her immodesty.  However, this is wrong, and more importantly, this is sin.  I know, because all women are the same.  We want to use our power, but always for evil."

"These worldly girls, they're just pleasing to the eye for a time.  They are eye-catchers.  Needless to say, they don't have the true beauty of the hidden heart that will keep a man enticed all his life.  Outward beauty fades, and one day they will have lost all manner of physical beauty that they flaunt right now.  One day they will be old women who have lost their girlish figures.  If it is your desire to dress like the world, you too will be admired by all men.  Because men are visually-stimulated, they are pleased by shapely legs and too much skin.  But that admiration will fade with time.  Do you want to win a man with your outward beauty, or the lasting beauty of a godly and pure heart?  The former never last, but with the latter you will keep a man until death do you part."

"You can be part of the world if you want to by dressing the same as other girls you see.  You can become an eye-catcher too, but I must warn you, God strictly forbids it.  Women want to exercise their independence from God by doing what they want and dressing how they want to dress, regardless.  This is sin, dear Adeline, and your father and I do not want a life like this for you.  It is a life that only leads to destruction and only unhappiness and disappointment is found there.  Do you want to be known as 'loose,' 'easy,' and 'floozy'?  Proverbs gives us many admonishments against the adulterous and seductive woman."  She picked up Adeline's well-worn Bible.

'For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: but her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.  Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.  Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.  Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.  Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house.'  -Proverbs 5:3-8

'For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: to keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.  Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.  For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulterous will hunt for the precious life.'  -Proverbs 6:23-26

'For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, and beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house.  In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: and behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.  (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)  So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.  Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.  I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.  I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.  Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.  For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: he hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.  With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.  He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.  Harken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.  Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.  For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.  Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.' -Proverbs 7:6-27

'A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.  For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city, to call passengers who go right on their ways: whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.  But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.' -Proverbs 9:13-18

'As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.' -Proverbs 11:22

'For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.  She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.' -Proverbs 23:27-28

“Adeline, do not make the mistake of envying the immodesty and freedom of the world.  As I said before, and as Proverbs clearly shows us, it is a life that leads only to destruction.  Never doubt that you are beautiful just the way God made you (Psalm 139:14), and in fact, your modesty and the purity of your heart makes you ten times better than the girls of the world.  The man who wins your heart will have found more beauty in you than all other women combined, because you have beauty that lasts—beauty that can only come from God.  Don’t worry about being pleasing to the eye.  Any woman can do that with the right dress and makeup.  Work on becoming pleasing to the heart.  I’m not saying that you have to be frumpy and out of style, for God wants us to take care of our bodies so that we might bring Him glory (1 Cor. 6:19-20); I’m saying that one day a man will be captivated by not only your outward beauty, but also the beauty that shines from within.  Don’t worry about these other girls who receive all the attention because they know how to snare men.  Neither should you envy those of your friends who profess to be Christians yet dress like the world. Christ explicitly declared that we are not to be of this world in any form or fashion, including how we dress (1 John 2:15-17).”

“Dear Adeline, I cannot stress enough the importance of remaining pure, even in your heart.  If you waste your time longing and wishing to look like the girls of this world, you are compromising your purity of mind.  Think on what is true (Phil. 4:8).  The truth is you are a different sort of eye-catcher.  I’m sure those girls down on the street look at you and wonder why you don’t dress like they do.  After all, it’s the norm these days to flash off your body.  Girls and guys alike may sneer and scoff at the way you dress and behave, but I’m sure underneath all that false bravado they can’t help wondering why you dress and do what you do.  You are a mystery, because you are different.  Your difference sticks out like a sore thumb, but not in the bad way you think.  People stop and wonder, and maybe even think how pretty and quaint you look—something that just stepped out of an old-fashioned movie.  Men will treat you like a lady because you dress and act like one.  But if you look like all the other girls, you will be treated just like the ‘easy catch’ you portray.  You practically invite a man’s evil thoughts and actions by your dress, unless your dress declares that you are not out to gain their attention and perversion.  True men will respect and honor a true woman—a woman who acts and looks like a lady.”

“You have power, just like every other woman.  The question is, will you use it for your own self-glorification, or use it to glorfy God?  Think about that for a while.”

Adeline’s mother rose from the bed and patted Adeline’s shoulder.  “You are worth so much more that this world has to offer.  If you buy into the lie that the rest of the world has bought into, one day you will regret your decision because your life will not bring forth true happiness.  You can only have a wonderful and fulfilling life if it is lived according to God’s Word.  I know you don’t want to waste your life; therefore don’t waste your thoughts by wishing you were something different than you are.  Beware of the eye-catchers that tempt you with their allurement.  Nothing good comes of it.”

Adeline sniffled and wiped tears from her eyes.  She nodded and smiled through her tears up at her mother.  “Thanks, Mama.  I know better than to think this way, but sometimes it just gets me down and I start to believe the lies that deep down inside of me I know are not true.”  She rose and threw her arms around her mother.  “That talk was just what I needed.  I want to use my power for good.  It’s just so hard to not envy the world’s standards of what ‘beauty’ is.”

Adeline’s mother smiled against her daughter’s hair and hugged her tighter.  “That’s my girl.  I knew you didn’t really want a life like the girls you see.  All women are tempted with that lie, even me, and it is a daily battle to fight against our flesh.  But it is our duty as Christian women to protect not only our purity, but also the purity of the men who view us.  We have a huge responsibility, so we have to be very careful.  But you know what, men, and more importantly God, will honor us for it.  We have to faithfully purpose that we will not become a world’s eye-catcher, but instead be an example for women of this world to see and follow.”

Adeline smiled, finally at peace, and thankful for the wisdom of her mother.  “Yes Mama.”

True or False Love

When I was young and immature, I pretty much took love at its basic concept, as any young child does.  I loved my parents, I loved my siblings, I loved my family, and I loved my friends.  What else was there?  That was love.  It wasn't until I began to grow up that my version of loved changed (particularly due to a demolished sense of love portrayed in romance novels).  Love was that beautiful thing of romance and flowers, gazing deeply into someone's eyes, being "in a relationship" with someone, saying sweet things, being told sweet things, candlelight, and "ooey gooey mush," as some people like to call it.  However, the more I find out about true love, the more I realize that there is so much more beneath the underlying surface of romance.

For the rest of this article, visit my Guest Post on Covenant Devotion

The Depravity of the Tongue

"Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace

That where there is hatred, I may bring love,

That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness,

That where there is discord, I may bring harmony,

That where there is error, I may bring truth,

That where there is doubt, I may bring faith,

That where there is despair, I may bring hope,

That where there are shadows, I may bring light,

That where there is sadness, I may bring joy."

-St. Francis of Assisi

 

 

Let me begin with a story.

Once upon a time, in the schoolroom of an ordinary little home, there lived eight children: Temper, Impatience, Bossy, Anger, Hateful, Jealousy, Pride, and Conflict.  Unlike the happily ever after stories of fairytale books, these little children loved to quarrel and fight and argue and bicker amongst themselves.  Their names, as you can see, befit their character perfectly.  These eight children were constantly at war with one another—sometimes two against one, or seven ganging up against one, or five against two—and it seemed quite a hopeless case of self-love: each esteeming self above all the others.  What a horrible way to begin a story, aye?

 

You can read the rest of the post here where I was hosted on the lovely blog, Not An Average Girl.  Go and check it out, and enjoy!

My First Valentine

I am a girl who loves romance

The chocolate, the flowers, and learning to dance

Eyes alight as in a trance

—I look for my First Valentine

I search for it in places of love

The feeling that makes me fly like a dove

And ask for guidance from God above

—To help me find my First Valentine

In surprise, this quest

Leads me to the very best

The shoulder on whom my head does rest

—The man who is my First Valentine

He was not the one I sought

A deeper love, or so I thought

When with surprise my heart was caught

—In the arms of my First Valentine

Daddy has always been there for me

Even the days I could not see

He has always held my heart's key

—The man who is my First Valentine

Blinded by what I thought

Into a lie I had bought

But even in the mess I wrought

—I found my First Valentine

My heart is safe in Daddy's hands

Until I get my weddings bands

And at my side my husband stands

—To become my Valentine

But Daddy shall always be the first

For his love I do thirst

I feel as if my heart shall burst

—In love for my First Valentine

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living."

"Many waters cannot quench love, 

neither can the floods drown it: 

If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, 

it would utterly be contemned."  ~Song of Solomon 8:7

I have always loved this verse, partly because I hope that one day when I am married this will be the description of the love between my husband and I.  "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."  The flow of the music in these words are mystically romantic, at least to a girl with extreme romantic inclinations.  Like me.  However, in our "girlish romantic inclinations" many times we can distort the view of true biblical love.  We develop a false misconception of happily ever afters, goosebumps and shivers down the spine, sentimentally romantic candlelight and flowers, irrationality, and...you know...all those things girls love.  Basically the belief that when two people fall head-over-heels there is nothing but happiness and passion and bliss and eternal peace is, quite frankly, the idea that has brainwashed our minds by romantic novels and Hollywood.

But don't get me wrong, there is happiness and passion and bliss in true love.  There are happily ever afters, goosebumps and shivers down the spine, sentimentally romantic candlelight and flowers, and so forth in true love and marriage, in a biblical, God-defined way.  We cannot automatically dismiss the love-making as off-limits to Christians as something irreligious, and make love into some hard-core lack-of-feeling mentality.  Definitely not.  God delights in love and marriage.  The Bible speaks many times on the aspect of love between a man and a woman, and even the romantic details that follow (Song of Solomon is an perfect example).

Nevertheless, girls are emotional.  Very emotional, very dramatic, very romantically inclined, and they we love every aspect of those wishy-washy feelings of love.  Why? We are women.  When a movie ends in a very happily ever after we get a feeling of gleesome "Oh I can't wait until that happens to me!"  Trust me, girls are oftentimes hard to understand, even for me being one of them, especially when it comes to our romantic tendencies.  Unfortunately we would sometimes rather live in a romance fantasy than the real world.

There is a destructive force of evil conforming the minds of young people today regarding love and marriage.  Not only are they encouraged to wait to get married until later in life, but when they do get "involved" there is a lot of fantasy regarding intimate relationships between young men and women, and it is initiated by Hollywood as a flirtatious and selfish type of love.  However, this is totally contrary to the biblical definition of true love.  

This post is not specifically targeting the differences between the world's version of love versus the Bible's, important though the subject matter may be.  Instead, I see most of all a disturbing amount of longing and sighing amongst girls wishing and hoping and praying for the right man to come along, especially Christian young women.  Perhaps it is because we are trying to live according to God's standards, which includes courtship and marriage, so we are often unhappy with our situation in life as we wait for "the one."  We may know what true love is, and we may be waiting expectantly for it, but sometimes we are so downright discouraged that we become discontent with our lot in life.

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." -Jim Elliot

I come across the above quote one day in a book and it cause me to pause and wonder.  Jim Elliot was writing to his fiancee Elizabeth (who would later become his wife), and it surprised me that he would have such a surrendering attitude.  At that time they were both separated by many miles, and it was rare when they were able to see each other.  Yet still Jim Elliot wrote those words to her.  He understood how hard it was to surrender his life completely to God in every area, especially when it was concerning his love life.  More than anything he wanted to marry his beloved.  Nevertheless he understood that a person's intense longings must not slay the appetite of their living, or it will waste their life.

Because girls are eccentrically romantic we tend to look to the feelings that make us feel good.  In doing this we do not realize how easly we sow the seeds of discontentment.  Whether we are still waiting, or whether we know who God has intended for us, we all can have the same problem.  Our longings will absolutely destroy the moments we have for living a life dedicated to God—out of marriage or in marriage.  If we succumb to  disastrous feelings of longing that we cannot control, how will we ever be satisfied with what God has given us?

Trust me, I now that waiting and hoping is no easy task.  God gave every woman an inner desire to be loved by a man, but that is not a license for not living our lives.  In each of our lives—no matter our age or station—we can all invest in the families that God has placed us in, and develop the gifts He has blessed us with.  All too soon we will be starting families of our own, if it is God's will.  One day we will be enjoying an incredible amount of happiness as the man God has for us woos and wins us.  Then our womanly desires will be completed in an even fuller sense.

But until then, we are complete in Christ.  We have His love.  We are His part of His bride.  More than anything else, we are to be satisfied in Him.

And then one day we will be united in holy matrimony, and experience something grand and marvelous beyond our wildest dreams—biblical romance at its fullest.  In my opinion, that is far better than what the world has to offer.

"Delight thyself also in the LORD; 
and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 
Commit thy way unto the LORD; 
trust in Him; and He shall bring it to pass." ~Psalm 37:4-5

A Conversation-Monopolizing Bore

Or, How to [not] Become a Fanatical Conversationalist

The Story of a Cowardly Conversationalist

I laugh at myself when I think about this subject topic.  I am not a good conversationalist, and I never have been.  I always like to say that my speaking ability lies in the power of my pen.  I used to think that I would rather write a letter to a friend or family member so that I could say exactly what I wanted to say, than to speak to them in person as I trip over words and barely cover a third of what I wanted to say in the first place.  It’s a terrible weakness really.  I ought to push myself and exceed the minimal limits that I have placed upon myself, but I don’t know if I am that brave yet (although reading Stonewall Jackson’s Book of Maxims is greatly encouraging me).  However, I can say that I have come a long way since I was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, and maybe even sixteen.  I feel a little bit more confident than I did then, but still not confident enough.  Self-confidence is just not my forte.

Between my fifteenth and sixteenth year I found out how much I exceedingly enjoyed to write (that is also when I really began to write poetry on a constant basis, and consequently I now have around 120 poems).  From some of my early years as a young girl I can still remember how much I loved to read, and even write short stories and poems, but it really kicked in as I grew older.  Although, there is one thing that I regret about my avid reading and writing: because I found a weak spot in my conversational skills, I retreated back into myself so that I would not have to face as much embarrassment.  Now I find out what a bad mistake that was.  Sometimes I think I’m going insane because I have all sorts of conversations—profound ones and trivial ones—with myself in my head because of my conversational cowardice.  I could give you an example to corroborate my story, but I don’t want my head psychoanalyzed.

I prefer the usage of majestic gargantuan words when I write.  You cannot conjecture the arduous quantity of time I exhaust exploring the reference publication listing of alphabetically arranged definitions for dexterous and zestful phrases and expressions to exhibit my cosmopolitan yearning of sophistication.   Okay, perhaps that last sentence was a bit ambiguous.  I definitely cannot do that in my regular everyday speech (my siblings would think I had lost it).  On the other hand, I think I tend to be more extreme when it comes to the words I use in writing because I would rather find the biggest and most delicious words in the dictionary to get my point across and not everybody know what I mean, than to use everyday proper language that I know people will understand.  I am not a big word type of person in my conversation though, no matter my aspirations to be one.  My writing is a different story, as you can see. 

So what exactly is a conversation-monopolizing bore?  Someone who dominates the tête-à-tête so that the other person can’t even get a word in edgewise?  I’d say that pretty much sums it up, including someone who is so lax in their conversation skills that the lagging conversation is downright b-o-r-i-n-g (guilty).  I know best what it is not, mostly because I am not the kind to greatly monopolize conversations...with strangers and friends anyway.  Then again, I, well, I’m afraid that I can be a wee bit overbearing with my siblings...oops.  But for the most part, I am apt to shy away into the background as a very backward, reserved, quiet little girl (I said for the most part).

I once heard the word cosmopolitan in a story a few years back and loved it.  Just say it aloud and you will know what I mean: cos-mo-pol-i-tan.  I love the sound of it!  Then I proceeded to look up its meaning because I had never heard the word before.  I found that it basically meant “from or knowing many parts of the world; sophisticated.”  Definitely me, in a wishful kind of sense.  Not that I am cultured or refined or traveled.  I used to hope that a dashing Christian millionaire would fall for me and we would travel the world (thus earning the cosmopolitan title), but now I think I was deceiving myself (Gal.6:3).  Besides, I don’t even know any dashing Christian millionaires, specifically who fit my ideal!  Okay, I’m getting a little off course here.

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren,
let every man be swift to hear,
slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
-James 1:19

Real meaningful conversation that doesn’t lag and isn’t boring consists of two parts: speaking and listening.  Awkward conversation is lopsided when one person does most of the talking, or when two people twiddle their thumbs not knowing what to say, but real conversation is what we want.  In real conversation (and when I say real I mean meaningful) there are two people communicating responsibly and maturely, both equally listening to what the other person has to say, and both equally participating in the talking aspect.

I am sure we all know that the most important person in conversation is the other person.  The way we can show this is by keeping eye contact, for as my dad says, this shows the other person that we are genuinely interested in what they have to say, and that we respect them enough to actually listen to them.  Most times we are too engrossed by what we want to say (our “wisdom,” or perhaps a favorite topic we are passionate about) that we often forget about the other person as we rattle off nonsense or even a legitimate subject matter.  What we don’t realize is that we damage relationships when we control conversation.  Plus, people then decide we are boring and don’t want to engage us in conversation again.   Look out—Rachel is coming—hide!

“Let the words of my mouth,
and the meditation of my heart,
be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD,
my strength and my redeemer.”
-Psalm 19:14

While being a good listener is absolutely vital, the words that we speak are also just as important, for they reflect upon our characteristics and nature in general.  If all we do is prattle off whatever comes to our brain, we will likely be proven a fool.  Then again, if we use the hip and trendy language of the modern youth that really doesn’t make any sense (yaknow, like using, yaknow, like, words that, like, make no sense whatever man), we will still look (and sound) a fool.  The only way to exercise proper verbal communication is to think about what we are going to say before we say it.  This also eliminates any hurtful words that might pop out.  We are accountable to the Lord for everything we do, including the words of our mouth (Matt.12:36).  The easiest way to make a fool of oneself is to insert-foot-into-mouth.  How ever we do it, I can’t even comprehend, but we do it nevertheless.  Even reserved people such as myself.  But I have found out that the more jovial, open, and talkative one is, the easier it is to insert foot.  No offense, jovial, open, and talkative people.

I have always envied those who always know what to say, whether it be something witty and humorous, or a philosophical intelligent reply.  I am never anything of the kind.  I’m more the type who will think of that certain witty or intelligent remark hours later while lying in bed unable to sleep.  I’ll jerk straight up as if a lightning bold hit me: “Aha! I know just what too say!”  But by then it is far too late.  I’m afraid my intelligence comes none too quick.  Bummer.

Fortunately for me I don’t tend to monopolize conversations.  No, I’m more inclined to be just plain reserved and boring.  How humdrum.  On the contrary, I can remember being eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen even and terrible indecisive on what to say to a friend.  I remember one specific friend with whom I would sit on the couch at my grandparents’ house and barely say five words to when I was eleven.  How she ever put up with backward little me, I’ll never know.  The good news is that I have changed a little bit—not so shy, not so backward, not such a non-conversationalist, not such a freak—but I still don’t monopolize conversations. 

Who knows, I may get there yet.  But I doubt it.

Must I Continue?

Selfishness, self-love, self-righteousness, jealousy, strife, conflict, rivalry, competition, resentment, anger, hurtful teasing, harassment, intolerance of fault in others, quarreling, backbiting, impatience, self-pride, degradation of others, sarcasm, disunity, obstinacy, narcissism, autonomy, selfish ambition, bitterness, grudges, hatred, discontentment, cruel remarks, rebellion, temper outbursts, rudeness...

Must I continue?

There are many reason why I have decided to write this book, the first and foremost being for the glory of God and the advancement of His kingdom.  Secondly, I write this book for my seven siblings (nope, seven isn't lucky for me because I still have to deal with the same problems that everyone else has to deal with).  They are a rather lively and unique group of kids, with many different talents and personalities and characteristics and gifts.  Grace (16), Kirstie (14), Katie (12), Maggie (11), Reb (9), Clara (7), and Liberty (2) are all very intelligent and clever, but you know me: highly prejudiced when it comes to my family.  I will defend them to the death...even if we aren't exactly getting along very well at the moment.  I want to give them an inheritance from their oldest sister, a legacy of love that can be passed down to offer guidance, edification, and sanctification amidst a crooked and perverse generation (Phil.2:5).  I want them to know what it means to struggle, yet overcome those struggles and move on toward success.  This is my prayer.

I also write this book for my children in the future.  Being a kid once myself [humor inserted], I know what it's like to go through sibling rivalry, and I don't want my children wasting years of their lives as bitter enemies with their [many] brothers and sisters.  I want this book to be a part of the heritage that I pass on to my children in future years as a part of their mother's love to them.  I'm trying to keep a multigenerational viewpoint in mind as I write as a vision of hope for my children.

This book is furthermore for other struggling siblings.  I know that my siblings and I are not the only ones who struggle, for rivalry is a common problem.  Why?  Well, you'll just have to wait and read my book.

Must I continue?

My heart beats with intense delight.  I do not know how long or when, but I do know, and I can't tell you how joyous that makes me feel.  It will be a dream come true when I am finally able to hold a freshly-printed copy of my book in my hands.  Then I will read it all the way through and count how many mistakes I made.  Oh dear...

Maybe I won't.  It may be too much of a painful project.  Then you can read it all the way through and tell me how many mistakes I made.

As I continue on my journey, my quest-like answering-all-of-the-problems (well, not really; I don't have all of the answers), I have to remember that it is not all my siblings' fault that we don't get along as best friends.  Ultimately, I am to blame.  We each individually are to blame.  If we are the oldest then we have an even greater responsibility, but no matter our sibling station—whether we are the oldest, the youngest, or one in between—we are to be accountable for our actions.  We can't simply throw all the blame on our siblings' shoulders and get away with it, because that proves our selfishness, self-love, and immaturity.  Do we really love ourselves so much that we can't admit when we are wrong?

I don't want to dishearten you, I want to encourage you!  I have seen examples of siblings who rose above the standard "just get along and don't kill each other" mentality, and become the best of best friends.  As a matter of fact, they become best friends forever.  Those stories stimulate me.  I want my relationship with my siblings to become just like that, and then in turn, encourage others so that they want the same outcome.

You can be an incredible help to me, with your prayers, your encouragement, and even your input.  Everyone has questions that they want answered, and while I am not the best qualified, I know the best place to look (John 5:39)—a place that we all can access, thanks to the blood and sweat of martyrs and Church fathers.

Any daughter at home has great potential to advance the kingdom of Christ.  I want to use the rest of my unmarried years to the fullest extent possible, doing everything I can to further my father's vision, be a help to my mother, and become the best friend of my siblings.  Surprisingly, I think that I have lost my vehement desire to get married as soon as possible.  Like I have any control over that anyway.  I won't kid you, I still want to get married...someday, believe me.  But right now I have an obligation to fulfill, and it cannot be fulfilled unless I focus on it completely, without the interruption of sighs, longings, and dreams that distract and hinder me.  Dreams I will keep dreaming, but for now I am excited about being a daughter and a siblings.  With the glasses that I wear, the grass looks greener here than it does on the other side.

I don't think I need continue.

With summer almost gone and school almost beginning, my days will be very busy.  Plus finishing pocket college, I'll be doing more work for Daddy, HTML, lots of reading, and working with my younger-schooled siblings.  I won't officially graduate so to speak until this school year ends so that we can do things right for the formal proclamation, but I'm thankful for one more chance to study hard and learn all that I can.  One more year, then I will no longer be a schoolgirl.  I wonder how that will feel...

Just What My Big Idea Is...

Just so that there isn't anyone confused about my big idea...

My topic will be dealing with the issue of brothers and sisters.  You know, why we can't get along, what the Bible has to say about sibling relationships, what the answers are to problems in the home, how we can actually like our siblings, all the trouble little brothers and sisters cause...

Oops.  Okay, all the trouble that oldests can cause too.

I know that there is already a tremendous book out there on the market, but because we can't have too much material on the subject (especially from different perspectives, and I have a good one with seven siblings)—and there isn't much to choose from anyway—I have been urged and propelled forward by my parents with a "go ahead" sign.  Or rather, "go ahead" words.  Anyway, there you have it.  My big idea.  Pretty big indeed.  So far things are looking good, but how can I say that when I know how critical I am of my own writings?  Well, okay, going good in the aspect that at least I'm finding things to write about.

On a serious note, I have determined to make this journey (let's call it a quest) one that will transform my relationships with my siblings.  I'm tired of the sub-par standard of just trying to get along.  It isn't enough any more, and it hasn't satisfied through the years.  As I grow older I see the damage I have caused in the lives of my siblings, and I don't want to live with the regret that I didn't fix the problem when I had a chance.  What are oldest sisters for (or brothers for that matter)?  So this book is a really a test of myself: do I have enough courage and fortitude to admit when I'm wrong, correct my mistakes, and press on toward making my siblings my best friends—truly?  For I genuinely want to be their best friend, and they to be mine.  But there are many bitter roots to weed out first.  Mostly from the deeds that I have done, because, after all, I am the oldest siblings who is the example (once I hated my mom constantly telling me that I was the example to the rest of my siblings, but just as it can be used for bad, it can definitely be used for good).

Pray for me as I write.  Pray for me as I attempt and resolve and conquer the obstacles before me.  I want to be able to persevere at the end of this book and say with all honestly, "My siblings are my best friends."  Of course, I may have many good outside friends, but I want my siblings to be my best friends.  Forever and ever.  Just like Anne and Diana in Anne of Green Gables.  They were inseparable.  They did everything together.  They shared secrets, passions, pursuits, hopes, dreams, ideals, expectations and thoughts for the future, fears, likes and dislikes, and spent all of their time together, from when they were little girls until they grew up.  Though they had other friends, they were the best of bosom friends.  That is how I want my siblings and I to be.

Just a summary so you don't leave my blog with a perplexed look.  Then again, you still might.  At least I tried.

Seventeen and Counting...

There's something about growing older that gives one nostalgic feeling.  Rapidly approaching my seventeenth year, I'm finding this more and more to be true.  I spent my entire little girlhood wanting to be sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and now that I'm what I used to want to be, I sometimes find myself wishing I had taken advantage of my little girl years.  Playing mommy with a baby doll just doesn't have the appeal it once did.

Three days until my seventeenth birthday.  Our school year has just ended and, thank heaven, I have basically finished my formal education, the academic part anyway.  Of course, the learning doesn't stop.  In the TV show Little House On The Prairie Laura asked Ma how long learning would take.  Ma wisely replied that all of life is learning, and it doesn't start or stop with going to or finishing school.  We learn all life long and never stop if we're wise.

I have mixed feelings about turning seventeen.  Given my little sister Clara's opinion, finishing school and being really close to eighteen equals marriage.  Where she gets that idea, I've no idea.  It's cute, though, the way she thinks once a girl hits the eighteen mark she should get married.  Does that mean that Mama was "underage" when she got married at seventeen?  A little girl's mind is funny sometimes.  But cute.  I ought to know—I was once one of them.

That's another thing about turning seventeen.  Mama got married in her seventeenth year, but I don't even have any prospects!  Is that a dismal outlook for a young woman or what?  I'll sheepishly admit that I recently watched a video of Joshua Harris talking about...gulp...contentment and waiting on God's timing.  Given the fact that I don't have any suitors lining up at my door (no, not even one suitor), I'd say I have another five or ten years at home, give or take (hopefully take).  Of course, that's just a guess.  I'd be more than pleasantly surprised if I'm proven wrong.  I'd better dig in for a long waiting period.  Or should I say preparing period? 

Not that I'm in a hurry to get married.  Sometimes I find myself actually not wanting to...just yet.  Well, it depends on my mood.  Getting on Facebook and seeing all the courtships and marriages, I'm more inclined to be a little bit capricious.

One more tactic complaint about turning seventeen. We were just told matter-of-factly that we have to move [again].  I've decided I don't like banks, even if they do keep people's money safe (personally, I believe even that is a myth).  An un-renewed lease is not fun, and sixty days is not long.  Please pray that God opens up a door that meets all of our needs.  Thankfully this move isn't going to affect us like other times because we will be in the same general vicinity.  Just in time for my birthday.  Just what every seventeen-year-old girl wants.  (That was said in sarcastic jest of course.)

This move is going to greatly affect my book writing mood.  What I had hoped would be six months of writing may turn into twelve.  Unless I can somehow fit my story's plot into packing.  Which I doubt.  I'll just have to put it on the back-burner for a while and trust God's timing.  Besides, this book is a fallback.  Priority comes first, no matter what I would rather be doing.

My posts will be few and sporadic, but I'll try to write occasionally.  Feel free to browse my blog, and maybe you'll find something interesting.  Okay, slim chance.

Adieu, my dear friends and blog readers! Until next time, God bless!

Living The Impossible

2010 has closed its door; 2011 has opened another.  This means God has not forsaken us, but has given us another chance at life, and another chance to live wholly for His glory.  Let's look at "living for God's glory" a moment.  1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." We may smile and nod our heads in righteous piety, but do we take this verse at its fullest context?  "I pray before I eat," we may say triumphantly.  Apparently we forgot to read the remainder of the verse.  You've heard that the Bible applies to every area of life?  This verse could sum it up.  Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever, exactly what this verse is reminding us.   "Whatsoever ye do" doesn't mean whatever we feel like doing or whatever we want to do - it is everything.  That means how we treat our siblings, honor our parents, the music we listen to, the movies we watch, the books we read, the words we say, our attitudes, our thoughts, even the simplest chores around the house.  We want to do something big, however.  Some of us may be willing to face the jungles of Africa or the communist hostility in China, but no one wants to wield a toilet scrubber and face a dirty bathroom.  Or, we may want to work in a big company for fame, recognition, money, or even just to make a difference, but who wants to help their father in his vision and business, especially if it is small and unnoticed?  We would gloriously die on the mission field, but we don't want to live contentedly at home. We take Paul's words in Philippians 1:21 a little too far.  Sure, to die is gain for Christ.

Daughters at home can get a little discouraged sometimes.  Okay, maybe very discouraged (more than sometimes).  This is dangerous- very dangerous - because the world begins to look inviting.  We must not fall into that trap!  Daily routine becomes monotonous. Because of our restlessness and discontentment, we are grumpy, moody, and liable to be snappish.  The truth of the matter is that we are not happy with our position, and we don't want to glorify God in everything.

I'm not one for making New Year's resolutions.  I never have been.  Anything I might have "promised" myself in the past always ended in disaster, such as waking up every morning with a smile on my lips and a song in my heart.  It's always the impossible with me.  I might want to be completely loving, always honoring my parents, never quarreling [much] with my siblings, always having the right attitude in every situation, being a servant, daily displaying the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22,23), and on and on and on the list goes.  Call me crazy, but I'm a perfectionist.

Mark 10:27 and Luke 1:37; 18: 27 say the same thing: with God nothing is impossible.  So we think that, while glorifying God in the home, everything should be practically unproblematic.  We want the easy life.  Yet, if everything was easy and breezy, where would satisfaction come in?  Our character would never be strengthened, our patience would never be tried, and we would never receive a "well done" from our Master.  Life wouldn't be life without difficulty.  There would be no triumph over trials and no ultimate glory in the end.  We would be lazy good-for-nothings.

Again we take a verse out of context (many times we do this to fit our preferences, ironically).  We as infallible human beings cannot be perfect!   Everything is impossible with us because we cannot do good. (Romans 3:10; 3:23; 7:15; Isaiah 64:6)   Therefore we shouldn't expect a miracle every morning (especially at 7:00 a.m.).  However, this also doesn't mean we have the right to be a snappy grump.  Titus 2:3-5 exhorts women of all ages to be holy, temperate, loving, discreet, good, and obedient - showing us a pattern of good works.   I know from experience how hard it is to be kind and patient.  But that doesn't give us the license to be mean, cross, and irritable.  To develop a good relationship with family and friends we have to be considerate, helpful, understanding, and attentive.  If not, bitterness and strife will cause pain because of rejection.   Again, speaking from experience, people will want to completely ignore you if you haven't the right attitude.  Everyone finds irksome people a chore to get along with.  True love will find a way, however, even amongst faults. (1 Corinthians 13)

With a whole new year ahead of us, just waiting for us to taste the delicious delights pending over the horizon, we shouldn't expect the impossible.  Instead, cultivate joy and contentment even in the smallest of things.  People will be happier, and the atmosphere so much more pleasant.  Because God in His mercy and grace has given us another chance, we ought to look forward with bright eyes and a rapidly beating heart.  Only God knows what lies ahead, but we can be sure it will be something grand as long as we walk in His footsteps.

Living the impossible...
For the Crown Rights of Jesus Christ
Soli Deo Gloria!
For Christ's Crown and Covenant