Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Life of a Slanderer




"It is one thing to lie to others.  It is still another matter to lie about others.  This involves slander.  To tell lies about other people is to cause them grave injury.  The Devil himself is the master of slander.  He encourages his disciples to engage in gossip, backbiting, and slander.  To steal a person's good name may be more harmful to the person than to steal their property.

"God is so concerned about slander and lying about others that He included a prohibition against it in His Ten Commandments: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor' (Exodus 20:16).

"The prohibition includes more than falsely accusing someone in a law court.  The responsibility in Israel to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in a law court was taken very seriously.  If perjury was committed in the courts, the penalties ranged all the way to the death penalty.

"Justice cannot be maintained in the land unless the courts can be certain of the honesty of witnesses.  But on a more daily basis, injurious lies can take the form of slander.  Let us consider briefly the meaning and force of the verb 'to slander.'  To slander someone is to tell lies about him, lies the injure him.  Slander involves making an unjust accusation.  We have all felt the sting of being slandered.  It is one thing to suffer injury for sins of which we are guilty.  It is another thing to be punished for something we did not do.  No one enjoys the pain of false accusation.

"I labor the point of slander's being an injurious lie because it is one of the chief works of the Devil against God's people.  To slander a person is to injure that person's reputation.  Our reputations, our 'good names,' are important to our lives.  Life is difficult enough without trying to operate with an evil reputation."1


"Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile." -Psalm 34:13

"He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool." -Proverbs 10:18

Slander is an ugly word.  Slander.  What do we think of when we hear the word?  Insult.  Smear.  Character assassination.  A once good name thrown in the mud.  Hatred.  Lies.  Cruelty.  Pride and jealousy.  Resentment.  Disgrace.  Tarnish.  Slander.

Slander is much like the cruelty seen in the classrooms of public-schooled kids.  Snooty high school girls picking on the one lonely outcast because of jealousy.  Rumors of character-slight.  Lies spread so that someone else looks bad and is discredited from teenage society [i.e. pride: a promotion of self].  From kindergarten to high school, kids sure know how to slander.  Another word is backbite.  Slander is much like grabbing a knife and stabbing someone in the back.  Most times slander will hurt much more than a protruding knife will.  Words have force.  Words have power.  And if used for evil, words cause wounds much deeper than a blade can go.

But it isn't just public-schooled kids who know how to be cruel.  Think about it.  Pride is a sin in everyone's life, and because pride only wants the promotion of self—for self to look better than everyone else—it is only a logical follow-up that the cruel words of slander and degradation will pursue.  Not just the world and its people, but Christians as well, our own friends and families even!  The life of a sibling is constantly filled with jealous lies about a sister and hateful, stinging words of degradation to a brother.  The same is said of life amongst friends. In an instant someone whom you thought loved and trusted you turns into a conniving, slanderous, roaring lion, seeking to devour.


"Lie not to one another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of Him that created him." -Colossians 3:9-10

Lying creates a vast majority of tension and even hatred between people.  The guilty party who does the slandering, miserable are they!   "That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified" (1 Thessalonians 4:6).  As for the innocent to whom the slander is against, "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.  For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?  And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?  Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matthew 5:43-48).

For those of us who have had to deal with friends or family creating rumors behind our backs, loving that person is a hard thing to do. Sometimes it seems impossible even.  Why would they do such a thing when they were once a good friend?  Why would they pretend to love us, and in the next instant stab us in the back?  These are difficult questions to answer.  Perhaps some kind of jealousy and resentment on their part.  Maybe they were never really the person we thought them to be in the first place.

It still hurts.

"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." -Ephesians 4:31-32

Forgive them?

Why should they be forgiven when they have spread lies about me, hurt me, caused strife between us, ruined friendships, created division, and slandered my once good name?  They don't deserve my forgiveness!

"Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.  For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.  For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil." -1 Peter 3:8-12

As we have seen many times, the tongue can be the unruliest member of our body (James 3:6-18).  First of all the sin of envy, jealousy, or hatred causes unrest in the heart, which then proceeds in slander, lies, and evil words from our fire-of-a-tongue.  There is no other cause for this, except pride and self-love.  Self-love is angered when we think another person looks better than us in front of other people.  Pride is miffed when someone else is better than we are.  Therefore, the tongue begins to wag, degradation causes catastrophe, and before we know it, the situation is out of hand and people are hurt because of our slander.  Our pride and self-love can't stand for someone else to be in the limelight.  "I can do better than that!"  Self says.  "I am better than that!"

Unfortunately our personal pride is strong.  Pride is happily uplifted when someone else is degraded.  We think that it makes us look good when we make others look bad.  However, we don't realize that no one likes a slanderer.  No one lasts long in a friendship with slander.  A true friend is one "that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbor, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbor" (-Psalm 15:3).  A true friend dies to self, and that means he will not care whether another person looks better than him in front of others or not.  It is only those with evil intentions of heart who will spread the rumors, start the gossip, and create the lies.  A mean word is like a cruel slap in the face.  It stings, it burns, it causes embarrassment, but the one who looks the fool is the one who did the slapping.

The Lord abhors the lies of a slanderer.  "Whoso privily slandereth his neighbor, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer" (Psalm 101:5).  Instead, He demands a loving heart.  "To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing meekness unto all men" (-Titus 3:2).

The effects of slander are very dangerous.  Therefore it is our duty to beware of the trap we all so easily fall into.  Whether it is a look, a glance, a whisper, a cutting remark, it is to be removed far from us.  Slander creates more problems than we know what to do with.  Slander is the treacherous enemy of friends and family alike.  It separates the very best of friends and the closest brothers and sisters, if it is loosed.  Slander destroys, whereas love creates.  While slander is forgivable, first of all it must be repented of.  Our tongues must be guarded by the Word of God, and the sins of envy, jealousy, pride, and self-love—which causes slander—must be isolated from our heart.  No good thing comes from the maliciousness of slander.  It is a life of wounds and friction.  And it is not a life worth living.

"A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends." -Proverbs 16:28

"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverbs 18:8

"Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer the strife ceaseth." -Proverbs 26:20

"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." -Proverbs 26:22 (Repeated from Proverbs 18:8)





Footnote 1 R.C. Sproul, Pleasing God: Overcome the obstacles that keep you from honoring God, pg. 196-197, 199; Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, Illinois, 1988.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Romance



"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some hidden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps...perhaps...love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath."  ~L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avolea


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A Blessing in Surprise




Valentine's Day brought me the best and biggest surprise of my life, when a very dear and special friend showed up at my front door, with roses in tow no less, to visit for a whole week.  He even fixed me breakfast on the last morning we had together!  Now talk about joyful happiness.  What a wonderful and fantastic surprise it was!  In my opinion, those who have been friends since birth are the most happy of friends!



 Roses are definitely my favorite. 
Ah, their majestic loveliness is so refreshing!


 Chess has been one of our ultimate favorite games 
we have played ever since childhood.


 Our shadows =)









 We love taking walks while talking and laughing together!
Oh, what a splendid week it was! Thank God for blessings.



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Joy Unspeakable

It's been a long time.

Needless to say, December was filled with much-expected excitement and busyness.  Not to mention all the preparation for Christmas and dear friends, gift-making and gift-wrapping, days of chilly weather, surprises, wishes and dreams come true, fun and frolic, laughter and loudness, peace and prosperity, the coming and going of Advent, decorating the Christmas tree, opening presents, fellowship and scrumptious foods, endless chatter and conversation, amusement, sport, entertainment, Scripture readings, family devotions, baking, learning and education, songs and hymns and spiritual songs, Christmas gaiety, Christmas carols, joyful hellos, bittersweet goodbyes, tears and happiness, and boundless amounts of delight in every way.
 
Just to give you a taste...




 Amy and I

 Grin, Ben!



 Fun with the camera

 All girls

 Bestest of friends!

 Loveliness

 Now THAT is what I call a shield...

 Beautiful Mama



 Little Bit





 Friends for a lifetime



 Friends since birth =)







 The "chaperone" ;)

 Whee!














Joy unspeakable.  Joy is much greater than earthly and whimsical happiness.  While happiness is based upon emotions, and thus the fulfillment of temporal enjoyment, joy is eternal and unending.  Happiness fades when troubles and trials enter the picture, but joy is ever still hopeful of the future and will remain whatever the circumstance.  I want more than just happiness; I want joy.

Joy can only be found in Christ.

"Thou wilt show me the path of life:
In Thy presence is fulness of joy;
At Thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore."
~Psalm 16:11

"For His anger endureth but a moment;
In His favor is life: weeping may endure for a night,
But joy cometh in the morning." ~Psalm 30:5

"Thy words were found, and I did eat them;
And Thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart:
For I am called by Thy name, O LORD God of hosts."
~Jeremiah 15:16

"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink;
But righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost."
~Romans 14:17

I don't know why this is the case, but many times we are inclined to be sort of pessimistic. Okay, full and in fact, very pessimistic.  Joy, even for Christians, is hard to attain.  Perhaps it is our human nature, perhaps it is our sin which so easily besets us, or maybe we don't think God will  keep His promises.

Now that one is a shocker.

It is easy to think that joy was possible for the martyrs who suffered starvation, persecution, torture, and even death for the cause of Christ, but joy, possible for mundane daily life? No way!  Joy, possible for waiting and preparing?  Joy, possible when things don't go our way?  Joy, possible to have during moments of gloominess and despair and sin?  Joy, possible to keep when our simple insignificant lives seem to be falling apart?  Joy, possible in the midst of a confusing, chaotic "love life"?  Joy, possible in chores and cleaning and studying and learning and tutoring and obeying?  Surely not.  Most emphatically not.  We see joy possible in the big things, but definitely not the little things that make up our own lives.

Nevertheless, the correct answer would be YES!  Most definitely yes.  Joy is possible in all the little things that seem to be so big.  Believe me, it is hard, but I would really love to know who ever said life was going to be easy?  In fact, it is even harder for the Christian striving to be more like Christ each day, fighting against the despicable sin nature that so wants to win. 

The most amazing thing is that victory is possible, though only through Christ (Phil. 4:13).  Our joy can be unspeakable, and very full of glory.

Only the glory of Christ.  As in everything, our joy is to bring Him glory, praise, and honor.  Our chief end ought to be our life's ultimate goal: to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.  New Year's resolutions usually end in laziness or lack of appeal (I'm sure you have found that out by now), but our number one aim should always be the same.  Have joy, and glorify God.  What else is there?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thankful in Thought and Love

I would have to say that I am most thankful for love.



Because love can cover just about everything.  It was love that sent our Savior to the cross to pay for our sins.  It is love that unites family and friends together—knit in harmony.  It is love that is the greatest of all virtues (1 Cor.13).  It is love that says "I love you and I'm willing to deny myself for you" (John 15:13).  It is true love that is not just a feeling but a commitment.  It is love that God gives everyday in His mercy, grace, and forgiveness, in giving us life and health and raiment and shelter.  I'd say that love ranks tops on my list.

It is hard for me to fathom the depth of love.  And when I say love, I'm not talking about this modern Grecian-version of love that happens between a guy and girl at first sight—you know, the head-over-heels type.  Of course there will be romance and all that goo in courtship and marriage (c'mon, every girl likes it!), but I am referring to: A father's tender embrace.  A mother's warm smile.  A sister's giggle.  A blossoming friendship.  A brother's silly joke.  A gathering of thankful hearts.  Worship and praise to God.  A baby's cherub dimpled grin.  Commitment.  Encouragement.  Faithfulness.  Devotion.  Inspiration.  Joy.  And many other such blessings.  The simple yet most profound things of life.

Thanksgiving is most definitely a time of praise and thanksgiving to the Creator, even though every day ought to be the same.  Now is a time when we sit back and thank God for all of the blessings He has imparted to His humble subjects.  Because the truth is, He has done so much for us and we barely even recognize His presence in our lives.  Many times we take God for...heaven forbid...granted.  How in the world could such lowly people, basically scum in God's sight because of our sin, take the Most Holy One for granted when He has done so much for us?

In fact, it is very easy.  We get caught up in our own little worlds of selfishness and pride, and forget that it was God who made us, God who gives us breath each day, and God who could take away everything we hold dear in a heartbeat.  Simply because He is God, completely sovereign, and He has every right to do what He deems best.  Simply because He is God.  And that is why I am most thankful for love because I see love in the grace of God that He would give us even a tiny morsel of bread, or a glimmer of light in darkened lives, or forgiveness amidst our sin.  Or so much more that we don't even deserve.

It was love that shaped our individual lives.  It is love that continues to shape our lives according to His will and plan.  It is love that I hold most dear, and I believe that love sums up our entire lives.  Love is salvation and sanctification all rolled into one.

May y'all have more than just a blessed Thanksgiving—may it be full of the richest and deepest love imaginable.  May God shine His love upon you and your families, and rain down many blessings upon each individual.  Remember that it is love that keeps us going, so I believe it is our duty to love in return.  And not just an ordinary type of love either.  An incredible, sacrificing, amazing, forgiving, inspirational, joyful, heroic love.  And let us rejoice in the goodness of God, because of His love.

"But let all those that put their trust in Thee rejoice: 
let them ever shout for joy, because Thou defendest them: 
let them also that love Thy name be joyful in Thee." -Psalm 5:11

Monday, November 14, 2011

Magical Reality


Life is busy this time of year.  The pecan trees are ripe in harvest, my mind and hands are busy with Christmas gifts, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, the leaves keep turning colors and enveloping the ground (and I just love Fall walks as the leaves crunch underneath my feet!), I'm reveling in continual happiness, friendship is blooming and blossoming, and I am satiated in God's goodness.  Life couldn't possibly be any better from my point of view.








Liberty loving our huge pile of leaves


This past month and a half has almost been eye-opening for me.  I am amazed at God's goodness each morning that I behold a new day.  Although family relationships remain top priority, friendship is a beautiful thing, even outside the home.  Especially that friendship which has lasted years and years, ever since childhood.  It is a bittersweet and nostalgia feeling to see life-long friends that were playmates as children suddenly become men and women.  Where does time go?  Life suddenly seems to become confusing, exciting, unbelievable, and incredible at the same time.  A friendship that remains devoted, loyal, and constant is a friendship that will press on to even greater heights.  And that is a blessing from God.

I don't think I need say I am sated.  It is bliss. It is magical. It is grace. It is happiness. It is wondrous.


"Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: 
so doth the sweetness of a man's friend 
by hearty counsel." -Proverbs 27:9

"Iron sharpeneth iron; 
so a man sharpeneth 
the countenance of his friend."
-Proverbs 27:17