Farewell, Sweet School Days of Mine

I never thought I would actually be saying that.

I remember when I used to think about graduating and being done with my school days forever.  I longed for this day incredibly so, because I couldn't wait to "grow up" and finally be done with school.   I didn’t care what happened next, just as long as I finished in a hurry.

However, now that the day has come, I can’t help but look over the past twelve years and wish I had taken more advantage of being a schoolgirl.  I had wanted to grow up too fast.  And now that I have hit the "adult years," I can't help feeling a little mournful that those days are gone.  For good.

It's almost a scary thought of never getting back a special period of life.  Eighteen years of my life have now been lived.  I have gone through much laughter and tears, sorrow and bliss, heartache and happiness, pain and pleasure, grief and joy, discontentment and ease, anger and peace, strife and harmony, and I can say without remorse, it has all been worth it.  I have had my own fair share of being an unthankful and rebellious daughter; I have experienced more than enough of doubting faith; I have lacked in many areas that I should have been triumphing in; I have wallowed in the mire of self-pity—yet God has never failed me nor left me to the evil devices of my sinful heart.  He has been good to me for eighteen years by giving me wise parents that I don’t deserve, and seven wonderful siblings who have had to put up with me being the oldest (oh yeah, you younger siblings know what that means!).  Though we may not be the wealthiest family in material possessions, I believe I am the luckiest and richest girl to be alive.  I have love.  I have refuge.  I have protection.  I have friendship.  I have family.  I have salvation.  I have eighteen years to my credit.  I have an abundant life to look forward to.  I have joy.  I have unending love and forgiveness from my heavenly Father.  I have the life of a wife and mother to look forward to.  I have so many blessing to be thankful for!  Life isn’t bleak; life is bliss!

Look out world, here I come!  

I must admit, I am definitely not the most qualified to be growing up.  I still have so much to learn!  Just because I am graduating from my schoolgirl days does not mean I am fully prepared for anything that may come my way.  I will never stop learning on this journey of life, but that is the rewarding aspect of life!

The years have passed frightfully fast.  I used to think as a little girl that I would never grow up.  Life just wasn’t fast enough in my estimation.  My parents were always saying that life is actually too fast and I would realize it the older I grew, but I never could believe them.  Until now.  Now I understand just how fast life can be.

Thankfully I still have so much life to live ahead of me.  My dreams are still the same, and I plan to live them out.  My desire is still to become a wife and mother, all in God’s good timing (as hard as that is to say right now).  As for now, I can dwell in the knowledge that God is doing what is best for me—much better than I can even imagine.  In my impatience I cannot see what lies ahead.  In my finite “wisdom” I think that now would be best, but apparently God thinks differently.  For now, I rest content that one phase of life is over; many more are yet to come!

Just think.  Life is exciting.  Exhilarating.  Fulfilling.  Breathtaking even.  And it is all mine.  A gift from God.  One set of happy golden years are over, but there are others yet to come.  Even now I am experiencing a wonderful life!  So, farewell, sweet school days of mine.  I shan’t be remorseful, or regret the past, but instead press on toward new horizons.  There are too many grandiose dreams to live out in life, and I don’t want to miss out on even the smallest one.  Life is too precious.  Life is too fleeting.  One day I will look back on these days and wonder where the time went.  Just as I do now.  Goodbye, Happy Golden Years of schoolgirl days; hello Happy Golden Years of a brand new adventure!

Those Happy Golden Years

I never thought the goodbye would be tearful
When I waved my school days away
As I said goodbye to my childhood
And reached for a brand new day

I never thought I would miss those days
Of being young and learning a lot
Of books and pencils and aching fingers
And appliance of what I was taught

I'll miss being that little girl
Sometimes eager and sometimes glum
The dreary days I hated school
Once again those days will never come

I used to look forward to this day
Of being grown-up and free
But my childish naivety was sublime
To urge me on to what I wanted to be

I have found as the years have passed
That my time of learning does not end
My departed school days mark a beginning
Of a new horizon just over the bend

My outlook is bright as I press on
Excitement wonders what God has in store
I can only guess and be faithful to Him
As I spread my wings and step out the door

Farewell, good ole school days
Yesteryear seems so far away
Those happy golden years of being a child
Will never leave my memory from this day

Of how I was taught by the wisest parents
And learned side-by-side with siblings so dear
But now I have grown and those days are gone
My heart aches as I shed a mournful tear

Farewell forever, my sweet schoolgirl days
I press on to the mark of God’s calling for me
I’ll still be learning what life has to hold
A new dawn approaching I can see

I’ll miss you to a small extent
But I’m eager to experience something new
God has a plan for my life I know
—The big and little things I do

When Dreams Come True

"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, 

and obtaineth favor of the LORD." ~Proverbs 18:22

"To be a mother and homemaker and an environmental expert in designing a place for the particular blend of people which will be your family—to grow and develop—is an amazing possibility. To be at the same time a wife and a companion, an interesting, growing, changing, developing person in the eyes of the man you married—not for just two years nor twelve nor twenty nor thirty, but forty and fifty years—is an added portion of this career." ~Edith Schaeffer

Right now I'd say that my foremost wish (besides wanting to glorify God in all that I do) is to get married.  Yeah, that little-girl-dream all girls have.  Not because I want to escape the evil clutches of a tyrannical life at home, not because I want my woman's independence, not because I dislike being a daughter at home, but because I want to have a husband to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to do his laundry, clean his house, make his meals, cook him scrumptious desserts, run to him and jump into his arms every day when he gets home from work, read a good book with him in bed, sneak chocolate and ice cream under the covers and giggle like secretive ten-year-olds, go walking in the park while holding hands and maybe even stop at the swing set, fall asleep on his shoulder under the stars on our front porch and have him carry me to bed, have him look deeply in my eyes and tell me how much he adores me as he whispers of my beauty (big imagination here), go on adventurous, romantic escapades, have our own candlelight dinners at home, give birth to his children, and on and on my simple list goes.

 

Okay.  I admit I have too many stars in my eyes.

 

Guess I forget to mention the countless times he will track muddy boots into the just-sparkling-clean house, the disagreements and arguments (hopefully those will be few and far in-between!), the time he will go to pick me up and drops me of all things (slow down on the chocolate, Rachel!), his grumpy mood after a long and tedious day at work, the nights he doesn't want to snuggle but goes right to sleep (bummer), the food I scorch, the times he is late coming home, my irritable moods, my impatience with the children when they are being too noisy in their play, the squalling baby who keeps me up every hour of the night, the day the washing and drying machine breaks down, the time I eat onions and he doesn't want to kiss me ("what's up with that, Honey?!"), the tears of frustration, the times when nothing in the house seems to stay clean,  and on and on this list can go.

 

It's a crazy world.  One moment we are living on the high of new love, and the next we are back to reality.  No worries.  That doesn't damper my desire to get married.  The good definitely far outweighs the bad.  Sometimes the cost is great, but the reward is just so much greater!

But because my aspiration to get married is greatly elevated, discontentment tends to seep into my life in paramount abundance.  Especially the older I grow.  God, my longing is too much to bear!  Marry me off soon...please?

 

Oh yes, I absolutely want to get married (and God, as a side note, soon...ahem...whenever You think best would be preferable!), but many times I approach my desire for marriage with the wrong attitude.  I'm telling God I know better concerning when I should get married, instead of submitting to His will.  Marriage is viewed with my two hungry eyes, regarding it as some earthly heavenly state more privileged than the one I'm in.  Not so.

 

Of course, as many married women can attest I'm sure, there is nothing compared to living with the love of your life, taking care of him, and all the benefits of marriage, but we unmarried gals still have a lot to learn that they already know.  Those married women already know that marriage isn't a bed of roses every day, every minute of the day (as wonderful as a bed of roses sounds).  There are problems to deal with, just as there are problems to deal with before we get married.

Oh well.  Life is life.  Life always have problems.  I for one am willing to take the problems with my dreams.  Dreams do come true, if you can recall Cinderella's story from back when you were five.  Maybe not in the fanciful fairytale Hollywood version of love, but dreams can become reality.  I know my dream to get married will come true one day, but in God's timing.  I simply have to trust Him with that epoch in my life.  I can feel the bliss just thinking about it...

 

If you think about it, dreams really do come true—the right kind of dreams that is.  Our dreams, hopes, desires, and expectations for the future must become God's desires (Psalm 37:4-5).  Only then will they come to pass.  We must give up ourselves completely to the will of God.  But guess what?  We will have a much more wonderful life because of it!  He will give us the desires of our hearts, because we will desire what God has in store for us—what He deems best.

When dreams come true.  It sounds like a fairytale.  Life is a fairytale of sorts sometimes, mixed with a heavy dose of realism and life (i.e. sin, fallen man, and the chore of daily living).  After all, life can't be all bliss and pleasure; life always has thorns with its roses.  Nevertheless, God is working all things for our good (Romans 8:28), and we should always remember that God's good is much better than our best.

 

 So I'll keep dreaming.  While living in the here and now.   One day my dreams will come true and I'll get to wear a fancy white dress and a veil with flowers in my hair and walk down the aisle on Daddy's arm to the man of my dreams who will be waiting at the alter. 

 

And I can hardly wait.